Its been a lovely Spring day so I decided to go out for a relaxing walk earlier. About 3 or 4 O’clock; can’t say really as I hardly bother to check the time – unless I have to. I never really have any sense of time in the conventional way, which is one reason I never wear a watch. Of course, I am aware of mechanical time. You have to be really because that just goes on with or without you. And if you don’t check it when you have to, you’ll probably end up upsetting someone or keep somebody waiting. So that’s only reasonable of course.
No. I don’t mean that I go around pretending time doesn’t exist. Mechanical time does, of course.
I mean that more than often, I am aware of a sense of timelessness, that lies beyond clocks or material convention.
Don’t want to go into this again (too complex for here), except I am increasingly aware that this moment is always this moment – and always has been. You cannot live in the future (or the so-called past) because the future never comes; that is only a measured mechanical time span; but it always takes place now, in this moment.
Anyway, I had a slow walk around the woods before ending up in the town centre.
It was contrastingly warm to what it has been of late, despite that fact the wind is still in the north east. The daffodils are well in bloom now, and you can see green buds on quite a few trees and bushes. The squirrels seemed extra active, chasing each other around. Well you know why, don’t you?! (Shut up Cat!). I noticed some rooks already had young. But they nest early, February or early March. They nest very high and invariably close together, so I couldn’t see the young of course. But I saw some being fed, and I know what they look like. I cared for a baby rook once. Very difficult as they can only take bread, water and tepid milk for so long. I remember being very concerned about this as they are carrion birds and usually semi-digested meat from the mother. I solved the problem by feeding it on mashed up dog food. She loved it. Luckily she lived, and I got an almost warm pleasure of releasing it back near the rookery where I’d found her. But that was a long time ago.
But looking at them again just reminded me of how life just goes on in its essence; that is, the actual life-force does, if not the physical form.
I came back through Muswell Hill, and was surprised to see the local Church open. That was lucky really as I envisaged having to go back after a Sunday service as I had to collect something.
But a kind girl met me and got it for me immediately. I was a bit embarrassed as my name was on the package, but luckily she didn’t connect that the name and myself were one and the same!
It was quite heavy and she even gave me a bag for it, which I hadn’t brought not expecting the Church to be open.
Email from somebody else yesterday (from London) who wants me to introduce a film he’s making. We’re meeting for coffee (probably here) so we’ll see what comes of that.
Well, that’s about it for now everyone. Got to sort some papers out a little later, so the short break is over.
For the moment,