April 2009

Somehow! . . .

Its all been happening!

Here, there and everywhere over the past few days trying to keep on top of the writing and the books, and associated things. Its funny, but one thing just ‘leads to another’ sometimes. You might know the feeling . . . that sometimes life is not your own. No sleep at all on Sunday night; but I’ve managed to catch up on that . . . somehow!

What else? Well, that Internet Radio station I gave an interview for on April 2 (Nocturnal Frequency Radio), has now been bombarded (at least their Forum has) by a mass of ongoing malicious comments. By some nutter calling himself ‘vampireologist’. Well, we all know who that is, don’t we?! I gave his true identity to the guy that runs it anyway. So he has the full picture.

As I said my Talk went well last week; at least I was told that it did. It was different this time as it was more of a ‘public interview’. And it was filmed too, by two independent video companies; not to mention all the still photographs taken by some people. (Yes, you will get to see all of it, don’t worry!).

Oh, going back just a little, I saw Speedqueen last Friday, and Gareth was here as well. The lovely girl brought me 400 cigarettes from France so that was a nice thought. You see, some people do actually like me! Unlike a few others who have allowed themselves to become possessed by negativity!

I have begun working on the Old Bailey chapter now, and that really is a ‘bitch’. Sorry, but there’s no other way to describe it. Not really the kind of stuff that I like writing as there’s loads of technical stuff to be referenced. I just like to be free to express my opinions; not get ‘bogged down’ by a load of technical and legal stuff.

All will be revealed anyway when Vol 2 hits the shelves. But a lot more in the next book about “Jezebel’ and her cohort before that!

So everyone. I will finish here. Still a little tired if the truth be known, but nowhere near as bad as Monday morning!

For the moment,


With A Bit Of Luck!

I have had 3 emails tonight, asking about ‘that’ Blog’. Well. people, I know as much as you do! Its gone, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s what all that really matters! The person concerned has apparently ‘run off’ – notwithstanding that they started the whole silly thing in the first place!

I really don’t care – in fact, am only pleased – that for the moment – hopefully! – the whole thing has been closed – with a bit of luck!

You know, I was really getting rather sick of recent references to it. I mean, what had I done to deserve it?!? Just minding my own business as usual I suppose – until people remind me that just some people happened to be obsessed with myself! Guess, in a way, I should be quite flattered. I mean, its not every day you get ‘obsessed females’ claiming that you were their ‘lover’s – or as the case might be. (I don’t know, just never been able to understand female minds properly, I suppose!).

Anyway, apparently the sordid nonsense has gone now – in its entirity – or so I have been told.

Anyway, so much for that!

That just gives me a break from having to reply to any of its (now gone) implications.

No news really as its a Sunday, and things are usually quiet. Except, of course from my usual comments about ‘religion;. But ‘K’ has told me to ‘cool it’ there; and obviously, I respect the beautiful girl’s feelings! Or rather her sentiments regarding that subject.

Its late once more. Maybe not for some of you folks who maybe asleep now and who might not get to read this until morning. But its still late (4.45 am now to be precise), so I guess I’d better try an get some sleep!

Will write a fuller Blog tomorrow,

But for the moment,


Good Riddance!

Thanks everyone. We have received quite a few emails about my recent Talk, some of which have been forwarded to me.

I’ll give a ‘shared reply’ as this will be easier – apart from which had a ‘busy’ night last night and I’m feeling decidedly lazy!

I’ll give details of that Talk a little later. I was told it was well received though and being in the ‘midst’ of it, I have to agree! Its always nice to get a receptive audience, especially to be interviewed by a beautiful lady! And she really IS beautiful – both in body and in spirit – that’s not just me being ‘flirtatious’! She made the interview different by making me be personal, I suppose. Well, she didn’t ‘make’ me, just somehow ‘reached below the surface’ in her beautiful feminine way. But I didn’t mind. I have never minded people asking me questions as long as its not about ‘A’. There are just some personal secrets I feel I am entitled to keep. Still, she didn’t even mention that, so I’m not complaining.

The questions were all reasonable too. One at the end which was a little difficult to answer as it really meant agreeing with an assumption then ‘having to answer it’, if that makes sense?! The guy asked . . . “How does it feel to be a walking legend’ (in relation to my acquired reputation) and . . . “Did I mind it?”.

Well, all I could answer was, of course I ‘minded’, but I pointed out that half the things said about me were not true so that couldn’t change the Truth! Fiction can never affect the Truth – although, of course, there’s always one or two people around who might wish that it could1!

Apparently, a lot of them went for a drink later in a local pub and she was asked how she ‘got so much out of him’ (me!). I don’t know what she said, although I can always ask her!

What else? Well, I am now told that a certain person has decided to close her Blog this weekend. Good Lord! As if I care! I guess I should, as that person kept persistently referring to myself although the person was fully aware that I did not want to discuss them or answer their comments or accusations in any way. Indeed, I never have done, except when certain comments are posted as ‘fact’ and people bring these to my attention.

The person wants to make her new Blog ‘private’. Well, that’s really a laugh! If she wants to make it ‘private’, them why keep making public statements about myself in the first place?! What is even more ironic, is that there is only one other person posting on it in any event! So its not even exactly ‘read’ in that respect – except perhaps for amusement purposes!

I feel that the person has somehow failed to grasp that they are just not important enough for general readers of the subject to take their comments seriously. The latest (I am informed) is that believing in the paranormal 0r ‘ghostly orbs’ would not invalidate anybodies claims to be a Catholic or Christian. But I never said it would! That’s been conveniently twisted. What I actually said was in answer to an public accusation that I couldn’t have written to a certain priest as I didn’t have his name or the name of his Church. The person conveniently forgot that they had previously given both these names to myself, and had endorsed a CD with a label, labelling photographs of ‘ghostly orbs’ they claimed to have taken in this Priest’s Church. What absolute hypocrisy! And then carrying on claiming to be a ‘good Christian’! Well, I happen to believe in God as well, but at least I don’t try to fool my own consciousness!

So good riddance to the person’s silly Blog; that’s all I can say. Maybe now (or when) we’ll all get some peace!

I WILL give more details on the mentioned Talk everyone. But it was pretty long and I really need more time to write about it.
Next Brighton!

For the moment,


Its Late

Well, its late. 12.20 to be precise (12.20 am, that is). It might seem late for a lot of people, but not really for me. I sometimes work until 4 or 5 am, so believe me, it is still early – for me!

I have 3 Talks coming up in the next month and I have been working on arrangements for those – among other things. But that was a little earlier, when most people are normally awake, and can answer me!

But I have finished all that fairly ‘early’, so just thought I’d write a quick Blog.

I see that some of my filmed interviews have now been put up on Facebook. Well, ‘not guilty’! It wasn’t me! This stuff just seems to be ‘doing its rounds’, and it seems it doesn’t require any help from myself! Don’t get me wrong. I have permission for the original reproductions of the material, so can only be flattered when I see some people using it.

Pretty quiet day actually, apart from all the normal correspondence to deal with. Letters to be sent; books to be sent, and all that. And stuff that I have been forced to answer on my Blog.

So, what am I doing tonight (rather this morning)? Nothing, absolutely nothing! Think I will just reflect upon certain things, as these sort of come to you naturally.

The good and the bad – its all a part of life I suppose. Then dreams – although luckily I don’t dream that much as there is nothing really left to dream about. It has all been dealt with when I am fully awake. (Work that out, if you can!).

It’s a warm night. No need for fires or anything like that. Just sipping a glass of wine will satisfy me!

And ‘no’, I don’t get ‘drunk’ (as according to some critics’); more intense maybe after working so long, but wine never really affects me. I have been drinking it since I was 15 with the ‘best of them’ and am still quite healthy. (Sorry to disappoint some people!).

What else? Well, the Blog replies seemed to have picked up recently. As you can see by ‘tuning in’ to the comments of Barbara, Cat, Rehan and Craig. But I really am going to keep out of this ‘Robin hood’ debate. Watch how it goes (and I ‘warn’ all of you to keep ‘brothels’, shaving brushes and ‘orgies’ out of it. I have really had enough of that!

So, maybe just one more glass of wine, then I suppose ‘bed’. I have to ‘brave it’ actually, as I have a busy day tomorrow!

So, for the moment everyone ‘sleep tight’ . . . that’s if people are still awake – which I doubt they are!


What Other News?

I said I’d write a bit about Queen’s Wood; but do you know, its one of those places that’s really difficult to describe. It takes up a large part of Highgate, and lies opposite Highgate Wood; the two being divided by a fairly busy road. But the two Woods are entirely different in character being run or owned by two entirely different organizations (can’t remember what these are now, only I think Highgate Wood is under the control of the Council). Highgate Wood is well cared for; has specific opening times and is closed to the public by night. Queen’s Wood is left mostly unattended and is always freely accessible. Maybe this has led to an almost fearsome reputation it has earned to be avoided by night; and certainly parts of it has attracted those with ‘less savoury’ motivations.

Not so long back, it (Queen’s Wood) was the scene of a grisly murder, or maybe that should read ‘gang-land’ murder. A man was taken there and stabbed to death. His body just left amongst some foliage near a path.

But the Wood has always been associated with death, or ‘deathes’. In 1665 a part of it was used to bury victims of the Great Plague. The victims were brought out in cart-loads from the Old City of London and dumped in large pits then covered with quick-lime. The site is still appropriately named Church Yard Bottom, and is even still thus named on some maps.

Perhaps not surprising, the Wood also has its own resident ghost. Said to be that of a nun who just disappears amongst the trees after being sighted, this forlorn spectre has been sighted by many people over the years. A convent in fact, once stood at the South end of the old boundary, though of this, now there remains no trace.

I have already mentioned the old paddling pool where I sat only recently. Well only some 40 yards or so away from this at a ‘dip’ in the Wood was the ‘dogs swimming pool’ (as it was known) – a place where dogs could splash away in the water to wash any mud on them after being walked. Not a bad idea really, I suppose, but I believe nowadays, it too, is empty.

My personal memories of this old Wood are quite varied. We used to play games like ‘hide-and-seek’ amongst its trees and bushes as children; and I remember going there on nature rambles from my first school which was in nearby Shepherds Hill. We would collect new buds and take these back to watch these ‘grow’ in the classroom; and not infrequently did we find hedgehogs and see many rare birds there.

I remember once finding a chaffinch’s nest hidden in a hawthorn bush at the side of a pathway. I was alone on that occasion and saw the mother sitting bravely on the nest. I remember making many visits to the nest to wait for the eggs to hatch, but I was always careful not to disturb the foliage or the mother. But she was quite safe. The nest was well hidden and I had only found after seeing the male bird fly in there.

Well, that’s a very brief summary of forlorn Queen’s Wood. It has changed little over the years, but I wouldn’t advise anybody to venture in there at night!

What other news? Well, I told you the new book is finished – text-wise at least. Well, I have now been getting reports about it from people who have been reading my Blog and apparently been reading other peoples’ Blogs with all the usual untruth’s and nonsense about myself. People here will know well who the culprits are their motivation . . . well, you know, I’m really not too sure of the true motivation. One of them is clearly ‘bonkers’, so nothing new there! The other seems to be a neurotic female who is so obsessed with myself that she just has to keep writing about me.

I have made it quite clear here on numerous occasions, that I just don’t want to discuss these people – and I do NOT! This does not appear to deter them as they apparently just go on writing about, or discussing, myself.

I do not really take too much notice of that either. But I do mind when one of them is suggesting that the purpose of my new book – or one of its purposes – is to hurt two innocent people’ (their words, not mine). To set the record straight, I have not repeated the allegations made against these two people by one of the people concerned. Its not that I doubt that these original allegations were made (indeed, these were told to two independent people) but I DO believe such allegations were untrue, and it would not be my place to subject other innocent people to their implications.

In fact, I had already written to one of the people concerned in 2007, but this was about an entirely different matter which he dealt with accordingly. My letter to this person I have published; as indeed, letters I wrote to parents concerned and to a solicitor. These letters were submitted to investigating authorities at the time, as they addressed untruthful allegations then being made about me: and which were subsequently proved to have been untrue.

I am not in the business of ‘hurting’ anybody. But when certain other people set out to hurt myself and other innocent people, I am quite entitled to deal with such allegations in the same manner as these were made i.e. in public.

This I have done, nothing less, but nothing more. As an author, I can only present the facts and people can then be left to judge for themselves.

So, just to clear that up!

Actually, on another matter, there are some rather interesting stories about the ghostly nun that haunts Queen’s Wood. I wrote many of these down years ago but have to admit, I have forgotten many.

I will try and find them and share a few here (if I can find them!).

But for the moment,


Over And Out

OK. As so many of you like Queen’s Woods so much I will write some more about it very soon. Not that I know that much about the technical history of the place but it sure contains a lot of memories – childhood memories, that is. So I’ll write something next time. It’ll make a refreshing break and give me something to do.

But first hear this! The next book is FINISHED. I mean the text is, obviously subject to careful grammatical checking. But there’s a long way to go yet. Its got to be read in its entirety by two or three people and its open to them to suggest anything I might have inadvertently left out. But as regarding the actual writing of it, it is ‘finito’! Over and Out! The hard work is over.

I have already started Vol 2 of my autobiography now. It begins where Vol 1 left off. As a VERY RARE exception, let me give you the opening page. But make the most of it ‘cause its all you’re getting! And bear in mind it hasn’t been checked for grammer, style yet etc.

So, page 1! . . .

Chapter 1

“Judgement Day” . . .

ONE DAY in prison was really like any other. The days of the week really had little meaning and seemed to blend into each other with a tedious monotony that almost defied any logical description; that is, if anybody could be bothered – not least be inclined – to attempt to wish to define them. I knew of no-one; indeed, rather than giving attention to their morbid surroundings that seemed devoid of any sense of hope or time, most sought to embrace any form of escapism, whether this involved playing games like cards, draughts or chess, or merely writing letters to people ‘outside’ who were obviously not prisoners of the grey surroundings. For everything seemed to be grey; from the bleak walls and ceilings, the floors and railings, everything was made up of forms of shadowy grey – and even the uniforms were grey in colour.
The only day which seemed really distinguishable at all, were Sundays. And this, mainly because it afforded a chance to visit the prison Chapel at 11a.m. and escape into the sanctuary of a more ‘accessible freedom’, albeit this beyond the reaches of imprisoned mortals. For most, with the exception of a dedicated few, that’s all that these weekly visits to the Chapel entailed; a chance to escape from the dingy cells for a limited hour, but perhaps reflect on the possibility of ‘Something Greater’ that might intercede and in some way release them; although not necessarily ‘save them’! I never went. Well, let’s face it. There were hardly any who really cared about the ‘salvation of their souls’, just any chance to temporarily escape the confines of the damnable place! . . .

Gosh! Re-reading it, reminds me its going to be a hard book to write. I’ve got to cover the Trial and then prison life. That’s going to be the hardest part. More so the Trial. But at least I’ve got most of the transcripts and witness statements so it can all be accurate. People will then be in a position to read the truth itself, and not have to rely on the versions of a couple of misguided people who are trying to re-write history. (This also goes for the just completed book as well).

So, next time. . . Queen’s Wood!

But for now,


It Is Only People Who Do That

It was a nice day (again) so I decided to go for a walk today. The Woods was nearest and the kids all back at school, so I decided to go there. I took my note book with me (as is usual habit) because I knew that if I didn’t have it, some ‘realisation’ might come to me and I wouldn’t be able to write it down – ‘fresh’ at least. I always write like that; it’s the same at home. Never plan or use clever-sounding words, has always been my motto. God gave us life, and certainly the power of thought, so I never find the need to try and manipulate this (the latter). It is a natural process . . or certainly should be.

I went into the Old Wood (Queen’s Wood) and wandered down a fairly deep path that leads to a sort of ‘valley’. I came across the old children’s’ paddling pool and sat down on a bench to think. Nobody was around – not even a dog walker. It was some time since I’d been here – in fact, couldn’t even remember where the old pool was. I just stumbled on it by mistake.

It had long since fallen into disuse, but you could see, it was still obviously a paddling pool. The bottom was dirty and full of cracks and there was obviously no water in it anymore. Even the old ‘changing pavilion’ was still there – or what was left of that. Rotten planks of wood mostly and the windows had long-since disappeared. It was quiet there; but it always is in Queen’s Wood. Quiet, desolate and almost ‘foreboding’ would be a good way to describe some parts of it.

As I looked around it, I was sure that there used to be fixed chairs all around the perimeter, but of these there was now no visible sign.
My mind went back in time; maybe to the late 1940’s, early 1950’s. I could almost ‘see’ my mother again as she sat on one of these ’empty’ chairs; chattering to people as they intermingled with their children and sharing sandwiches. The pool was full of clear of clear water then – almost 18 inches deep – and the children would spasmodically come back shuddering to the ‘shore’. Their shoulders draped by towels now or being rubbed by caring parents.

It was not far from our old house, and you could walk there in 20 minutes or so; although I suppose the walk seemed much longer to a young child.

So there it was. I’d found another memory! Though it was almost sad to see the place still there in such ruined desolation. Nothing lasts for ever, of course, and maybe this moment now, will be the one we’re recalling or looking back on several years from now.

This moment never changes, it is only people who do that.

For the moment,


Even More Bizarre . . .

Its been so quiet today, which is only to be expected I suppose with the holiday. Not that I haven’t been busy. Most of the text in the new book is done now – just some references and some pictures to sort out. But those can come last.

Few emails and PM’s as usual. Nothing special but a couple more book orders for the last one. Who said people don’t want my books!? I suppose I should thank those people who have given me such bad publicity in the recent past, because it has increased peoples’ interest to know what actually happened. So thank you both! You’ve both been helping my book sales! Sold about 50 too date (or got definite orders for them, which isn’t bad since the 23 of February!

If it goes on like this, I’ll have to get another few thousand published for next year.

There’s not much other news. As I said, its been fairly quiet.

I had to laugh a little while ago at something I wrote. Something I had forgotten I’d written but I only remembered it as I was reading through.

I was quoting a passage that somebody put up on an old Message Board informing some ‘religious’ bigot of some ‘great scandal’ (involving myself. who else!) that she wanted published. (Well, more than that, she was inviting him to publish it!). Strange how the human mind works sometimes. Seem to remember one of her previous persistant words . . . “Always”. Which makes the whole thing even more bizarre!

Going to open a good bottle of wine soon. Been working a bit too intensely maybe, and could do with a break.

So for now everyone,


That’s Just The Way I Like It . . .

Well Sunday is upon us again – and Easter Sunday at that! But don’t hold your breath folks, I’m not going to talk about religion today. So you can breathe again too K!!

I finally got rid of that huge bed, all 6 foot of it. I got Gareth to help me dismantle it – or I helped him more-like. It is now truly in bits and there’s now a huge empty space in the room. I’m having to sleep in the other room at the moment but the bed in there is quite comfortable although it just means that little extra walk. Am I getting lazy? Yes! Its not so much that, though. Although the front room is all finished, I have to keep going into the back room to finish unpacking boxes. It all adds up to quite a lot of walking!

Anyway, a new bed is coming this week.. Its not quite as big, but quite big enough for two! I’d better leave that! But the good thing is its got two huge drawers underneath which will help considerably with needed space, for blankets, sheets, etc. It wasn’t cheap and cost over £200; but at least its brand new so I won’t have any further trouble with antique mattresses. My gosh, if that poor old mattress could only talk . . . you really would have some scandal! (Sorry K, couldn’t resist that!).

Well, I got some more news on the Brighton event. The lady phoned me yesterday. I asked them to make it earlier if poss. So now I’ve got a mid afternoon slot, which is much better. She said to allow 2 hours, from beginning to end (with questions) and I could sell my books there afterwards if I wanted. Apparently quite a few academics will be there and she warned me to expect some tough questioning. It didn’t only apply to me, she quickly added, other speakers always ‘get the same’. I think I quite surprised her when I said “That’s just the way I like it’! Which is true actually, it is. It really is; because if you simply tell the truth, what is there to worry about? And if you don’t know something, then simply say you don’t know – its as simple as that.

‘Intellectuals’ or ‘academics’ have never worried me. You often find that such people are ‘crammed’ with material knowledge but when it comes to understanding their own thinking processes or the nature of their own consciousness, they are totally lost without their text books to fall back on.

So, I’m prepared for that. Dinner afterwards (if I want it) and a lift back to the station. A fee, of course, but that usually comes afterwards. It promises to be an interesting afternoon, and being a weekend quite a few people should be there.

I’m still toying with the idea of visiting Kevin afterwards. There would be plenty of time now. Must phone him.

Whatever, its really good to have more light in the evenings now. When I did that last Talk, it was ‘dark and dingy’ from start to finish – the weather that is. That Talk went very well actually and I sold a load of books afterwards.

So on that note I will finish everyone. Must get back to the latest book which is nigh on finished now.

For the moment,


Not Saying Anything New . . .

Well Easter is upon us but I’ve never minded that as much as the dreaded Christmas period. Maybe one reason is because it falls in a warmer and lighter part of the year, and lacks much of the commercialism and profit-making of Christmas. It just quieter and more peaceful, which is why I don’t mind it. Maybe there is a more esoteric reason too. As I was once deeply involved in Wicca (a religion based on the understanding of the Laws in Nature and the Universe) I am fully aware of the importance of the period and what its meant to symbolise. Basically, it is symbolic of the dying of the Old and re-birth of the New. A time when Nature was ‘re-born’, so to speak, which was why – in the Old Religion – it was ceremoniously symbolised by the symbol of an egg, or ‘Easter egg’ – which was the later adoption of the early Christian Church. Its not so much that the early Church tried to destroy the original meaning of ‘death and resurrection’, but it certainly ‘took over’ the original ceremony and to a great extent commercialised it in the process.

Exactly the same thing happened with Christmas as well. In Wicca and other ancient practices and beliefs (subsequently referred to by the early Church as ‘Pagan’), holly, mistletoe and fir trees were used to symbolise everlasting life; hence the symbolism of ‘evergreens’. This ceremony at the Winter Solstice (December 21st) was commercialised to a far greater extent; and where would the modern Christmas be without its beloved ‘Christmas tree’?!

I am not knocking the Churches of the world for adopting this ancient ceremony (indeed much ‘goodwill’ and kindness can be – and is – shown through it). Although I would condemn the narrow-mindedness of many Church authorities who proclaim that these ancient practices really amounted to being ‘anti-Christian’ and that its adherents were really involved in ‘devil worship’. This sort of thing is often maintained by the modern Church (as it was by the Early one), although it seems quite happy to have adopted and kept the original symbolism!

So no, I don’t mind Easter. But maybe that’s because I’m inwardly aware of the original meaning behind it.

Well. What’s new?

Call yesterday from the Guardian to tell me my new book had been featured in the newspaper on Wednesday. Haven’t seen the paper yet but will pick up a copy after Easter. Come to think of it, I have made these points about Christmas and Easter within its pages. But then, I am not saying anything new.

Do you know, I really can’t remember if Gareth said he was coming over tonight. Well having said that, I just reminded myself to phone him and, ‘yes’, he is!

Well, as I’m up ‘bright and early’ today, I’ll get on with some writing with the new book this afternoon. But before I do that, better go out and get some wine in for the degenerate! Another good thing about Easter, is that most places stay open and the transport’s still running!

For the moment,