I know I have been a bit slow doing Blogs on here, but the truth is I’ve been so occupied with other things (all of them important writing-wize) that I haven’t really had much chance just to sit back and ‘take pen to paper’. (Now that ‘wize’ has just been underlined in red so I suppose its telling me that ‘z’ should be an ‘s’. Well, too bad. I’ve always spelt it with a ‘z’ so it can just stay that way!).
Sitting here with a cold beer at the moment having a short break though, so thought I’d write something – don’t ask me what! Just see what comes I suppose. Women I’d better not discuss, ‘cause it has been known to upset some people. You see, I happen to know there a lot of people reading this even if they don’t post. As a matter of fact, a lot of people contact me in private, although many prefer not to post even though I have invited them to do so. I think a lot of the reason is I’ve got too high a profile, and many people just prefer to keep a low one! I suppose also because people realize I just speak my mind and they are wary about getting their names drawn into any controversy. The only ‘bad’ thing here of course is that it means more work for myself as I always make a point of answering all personal correspondence. Even to the lady who asked me if I ever had any thoughts of getting married again. You know I really wasn’t thinking about that, but maybe I could answer that now as it covers a variety of similar questions:
The simple answer to that is ‘no’. But let me tell you why at least. The truth is – the undisguised truth – is that I realize that there are very few people who would be prepared to put up with me! Lets face it, I represent the epitome of all those things that so many ladies would not be prepared to put up with.
For one thing I smoke (yes that terribly unsocial habit) and drink far more than most people would be used to. If that’s not enough, I keep entirely unpredictable hours; often working through the night and letting the light be my warning that I should think about going to bed.
And if that’s not enough. My back injury of a few years ago has strictly impaired my walking ability, to the extent I ‘slow people down’ if I happen to be going anywhere with them.
So you see, being realistic I could not really get married again, or experience a ‘steady’ relationship, come to that. It just would not be fair on the other person. It is for the same reason that I do not want anyone getting too attached to me. It is not selfishness. Indeed, quite the opposite, I just do not want to hurt anybody when it might inadvertently be beyond my control.
The only ‘selfishness’ that comes into it – if any – is because I realize I cannot change. I am just ‘trapped’ in being what I am. But I am at least honest to realize that I cannot change it.
I don’t really want to if the truth be known. I think its essential that people just be what they are, without all the artificial frills and put on traits of insincerity. There’s nothing wrong with loving somebody, that is only natural. I’m just explaining why in my case I either tend to avoid it or discourage it.
This does not apply to sex, of course, which is dependent on none of these things. Indeed, you can fit sex in any time without the love part of it. So no. It doesn’t apply to that. Which is just as well as I’m certainly not going to give that up!
Well, I didn’t intend to do a long Blog, but that sort of just came out!
Now, I’ll finish this beer, get another, and then its back to work!
For the moment,