Had another of those dreams last night. Still vivid now some 16 hours later. Sometimes I wish I had never unlocked that memory to C. The memory was always there, but before it was mostly suppressed; locked away as an ‘inactive dream’, while now its become an active one. It seemed to got on for ages before it suddenly woke me up. It was getting light, but the room was still in darkness, if that makes any sense.
It had also had a physical effect, as the blanket and sheets had been forced nearly to the floor. It was painful again (mentally painful) but I just lay for ages trying to capture everything I could remember.
Going to interrupt this as my friend has just phoned about my cigarettes and is on his way over.
I might continue it later, but there’s nothing much else I can say. And even now I’m wondering if she’s minded me putting even this much on paper. Or is this part of a dream as well?; that she’s even aware of my presence when I’m fully awake? and can only ‘reach’ me though that unreal world we all call sleep?