I must admit to feeling a little tired tonight, and its only 11 which is unusual for me. Tired but relaxed at the same time. Nothing to do – unless I want to do anything that is. No restrictions, no compulsions; nothing, just a lot a space and solitude, which is the way I like it sometimes.
So, what’s new. Without doing another boring Blog!? Quite a lot really. The book is going well, so is the filming. In fact, I got loads done over the weekend, way into the night/s, which is probably another reason – if not the only one – its suddenly ‘caught up with me’.
You know, somebody asked me, in all seriousness, last night if I’d ever thought of getting married again. Yes, I’ve thought about it; but who could really put up with me? I mean, I’m just too bloody independent and ‘hooked’ on my own freedom! Its not that I’m inconsiderate; I’m just impossibly caught up with being free of those things that so many people are captured by. Committed to beliefs or obligations by ‘this or that’, some people would just not find it easy to realise I give so little importance to material things. I really don’t – but some others do, and that is partly where most of the problem lies.
For example, I never eat at set times – I just eat if or when I am hungry. I rely on my body to tell me that without relying on a clock. Or I very rarely have any knowledge of ‘material time’, rather a sense of timelessness which is far more valuable than that.
Lets face it, most people just don’t have that, but are reliant on clocks most moments of their working lives. I am just not which is just another reason why I could never get re-married!
You have to ‘give and take’ in human relationships, that’s only fair. But I have nothing to give – I could only give up my sense of freedom, and I could never do that.
But quite apart from that, you have to take into account that often people can change quite inexplicably and without reason. They can even betray you without any cause,
I guess that’s just a part of human nature. That always brings about its own suffering; but just another reason why I desire no part of it!
Well, its all quiet. But I prefer it quiet with nothing to distract you!