'Innocent Of All Charges'

Well, Della and I had a very unpleasant experience today. We were in bed having an afternoon snooze when we were awoken by a loud banging on the door, and the next thing we knew a S.W.A.T. team from the Met Police were looming over us. Apparently a concerned member of the public, horrified at what he had seen on the Christmas Special, had felt it was his civic duty to report us for first degree murder!  (Technically just me, actually, Della was only charged with being an accessory).
Well, there was no deferring them to Interpol this time. We tried to explain it was all done for a gag, but the boys in blue were having none of it. They raided the flat, and seized Mr Bonky’s head as evidence. They even took our hard drives. Fortunately everything was backed up on Della’s laptop in the car, hence we are still able to communicate with the outside world (well unless our bail is revoked). That said, we were only released from custody around midnight, and even had to face the indignity of getting a nightbus home. Della was mad, I can tell you that. No Monken Hadley tantrums for her. She’s made of much sterner stuff. I think the Police were glad to get rid of her after they had questioned us separately for 8 hours. But as you shall see, we were soon in good spirits again, once we’d dried off in front of the fire (it’s been pouring in North London this evening). She was determined as soon as we got back indoors (after pouring me a whisky for the shock) to assemble this short film, to show the Police, and some misguided members of the general public, that no one REALLY got decapitated – or probed for that matter, and that we are innocent of all charges.
We hope you enjoy this little collection of rehearsals, outtakes and bloopers, and spare a thought for poor Mr Bonky’s head, stuffed into an evidence bag, most likely in a cold dark cupboard somewhere. And please, don’t have nightmares. After all, in the words of Terrence McNally – ‘It’s only a play.’ Or should that be “The play’s the thing… wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the ‘king’”…?
Sweet dreams,
David
  • reply David Mee ,

    Hi David,
    Just read your latest blog.I cant believe the audacity of the police.It would be hillarious if it wasn’t so serious!They clearly didn’t take the time to view the film first because if they did there’s no way they would have reacted that way.I can’t help thinking that a certain’Mr Bonky’ had a hand in all of this.He probably didn’t want you and Della to enjoy this xmas so what perfect opportunity to throw the proverbial ‘spanner in the works’by trying to ruin it for you, only my thoughts of course.I’m glad you found the funny side of it and it didn’t get you too down.
    All the police would have had to have down was to look at the film while in your flat,what with you lazily brandishing the axe about with a wry smile on your face would have been enough to convince them that all this was done for an harmless xmas prank and nothing more.
    You’re definately not going to win any oscars with acting like that David!! Ha Ha.
    Hope you and Della have a happy new year and put this ‘Bonky’ episode behind you
    yours,
    David.

    • reply David Farrant ,

      Thanks David,
      Nice to hear from you again. Yes it was rather an unnerving experience, but I don’t think the police took it too seriously in the end. I guess they just have to routinely check these things out, so as not to be blamed for not doing their jobs properly! I do suspect however that they were following some ‘complaint’, or I cannot see that they would have been bothered over what really amounts to a comical situation. We therefore don’t anticipate any “time in the slammer”; in fact I can now tell you, that they have watched the full film, and thought it rather funny. I was asked about the identity of ‘Hoggy’, but I refused to disclose the name of the RADA actor who portrayed this unfortunate individual! But all’s well that ends well! Talking of which, its not long past midnight now, and let me wish you a happy new year.
      Yours for the moment,
      David (Farrant)

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