Finally Felt Tired

Well, ‘Blog time’ again, I guess.  If nothing else but to keep K. happy and show her I’m not being lazy!  

What to write about when you’ve got nothing really to say, is the question, really. News is pretty scarce.  Don’t want to ‘go on’ about the building work again, but that is nearly finished.

Students turned up on Monday and just filmed me talking about ‘ghosts’ and other unexplained phenomena, etc.  That will be shown in November, apparently and I’ve been invited. Not sure if I’ll go yet.  Its one thing being given a completed film to watch at your leisure; quite another to turn up on the night amidst a roomful of unknown people when its first being shown.  IF I go, I’ll just turn up late then hopefully slip away unseen after. (No K.! I’m definitely not ‘plunging right into the middle’ of it).

Sat in a small restaurant last night with a friend.  It’s a cozy place which I’ve been to before. My friend wanted me to talk about myself a little more but I think after a while she gave up and realized I didn’t want to go into long discourses about my private life, especially relating to the past.  I don’t – and didn’t –  there are just some relationships that should be kept private.  It was a nice night though, and I’d almost forgotten what sea-food tasted like! (I just wish they’d cut the heads of fish, sometimes; its horrible to see a pair of ‘fried eyes’ looking at you when obviously you’re not expected to eat them!). Got back around 10.30 but felt quite relaxed from the wine. It’s a good job I never learned to drive or I might have had a few problems. 

 Well ahead with the writing, so no need to catch up there. So I just opened a couple of beers and let my mind wander a little. Do you know, sometimes it really is difficult to comprehend life; or rather where it might be trying to lead you.  People can be so varied, and so many seem to have different interpretations about myself individually.  Who cares really, I suppose. I never try to change anyone but sometimes I just feel that sometimes people are trying to change me.  To fit in with what?  Their opinion of ‘respectability’,  I suppose which I guess they don’t always see in me!

I was thinking about that too last night. Mainly about how some people try and create an image about you which is as far removed from reality as dear old Adam being tempted to eat forbidden fruit. The story is only symbolic, admittedly, for there exists no ‘devil’ outside of the human mind.  But the story is consistent in an important way, I suppose, because it demonstrates how this same mind has ‘cut itself off’ from Divine Intelligence. That is probably the main point of that whole story. I think I concluded that it was the ‘human mind’ that is really the essence of the problem.  Your mind and my mind.  That is the only source where all human and suffering and misery can occur, rather has its origin. 

 Well, I didn’t actually ‘conclude’ that.  I have known it for a long time. And then I kicked my sandals off around 4am and decided to go to bed.  Letters still to be answered and some outstanding bills to be paid.  But I really didn’t care. 

 I finally felt tired and just wanted to go to bed.

 David

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