You know birthdays mean little or nothing to me; in fact it would not be the first time I’ve forgotten my own (in later years anyway) only to be reminded of it by other people. Sometimes, it seems, my birthday has the effect of exciting some people, when I’d just prefer to treat it like any other day (well, it is as far as I’m concerned).

Okay. I can hear the inevitable question . . . “How old are you?”. Well, that will just have to stay a question because I’m not going to tell you the year! 
But if anybody wants to believe the infinite drivel put out over the Internet not so long ago, then I will be 71 today! Well, that is what was being stated as hard fact, and even qualified by people saying that that made me too old ‘to go out with’! From people preferring much elder men, that was really a ‘bit rich’! 

But even so, this is quite serious you know, because if it is remotely true, it means I have somehow lost over 10 years of my life. It has just gone; and I can’t remember it. It is a worrying thought because, if true (and I am not convinced but only worried why people might think that), it begs the serious question about what I may have done during those long years of amnesia?!? Seriously, I could have done anything! Might even have another wife lurking about somewhere who might someday turn up to claim me! Might have even fathered some more children, who might one day do the same! (Reminds me of someone this actually happened to not so very long ago, and his solution was to deny his sons’ existence!).

And what about all those lovely women I might have dated – even bedded – and now I do not even have the memories of! It gets worse the more you think about it. 
So I don’t think I will anymore. I’ll just have to accept that the memories won’t come back, and a chunk of my life has somehow ‘gone missing’ – perhaps due to some nasty knock on the head. 

It’s funny. I remember back from last year alright. I think it was 2007 – at least I hope! But who knows what can happen in this mixed up and embittered world. Well, anything is capable of happening, isn’t it!? 

Anyway, I remember yesterday alright. As a matter of fact, I had to travel North a little by bus and while in the area, I decided to buy a sandwich in a café I used to frequent occasionally. Do you know, the woman – a Chinese lady – recognised me at once and was ‘all over me’. She asked me why she hadn’t seen me for the last 20 years or so, and if she could get me her ‘special of the day’ to eat. I said just the sandwich was fine as I didn’t really have enough time. We spoke for a while though as being mid-afternoon, the place was virtually empty, and when I was leaving she refused to take any money for the sandwich. Maybe this is something to do with Chinese hospitality that I don’t know about. Or it could have been that I hadn’t shaved and looked a bit hungry. 

Hey! You know what?! I’ve just had another frightful thought! 
Supposing I had been going in there regularly during my ‘lost years’ period and something else happened that I just can’t remember. (You shut up in advance, Cat, I don’t mean that1). I mean, I might have saved her life during some hold-up, or something. Crazy? I guess so. But it could have happened if I am really suffering from amnesia! 
What else has happened. Nothing really. But I’ll be glad when today’s finally over. 

For the moment though, 
David 

N.B Just to share the moment, I can do no better, perhaps, than to share my ’71st’ year with you all and to give you a little window into my world as of 6:30pm this evening, when a few photographs were taken of me…and not for a police mugshot for another false and rather disturbingly bogus claim/allegation/outright lie! 
Enjoy the pictures and I’m pretty sure my most ardent fan and supporter will automatically steal them and plaster them over his sad and rather insecure set of msn groups along with another sensational headline. 
…the copyright is mine Patrick… 

You should've seen what was going on on the other side of the camera!
  • reply John Baldry's Cat ,

    Where the hell are the pictures? I must see this “71 year old”!

    • reply David Farrant ,

      Dear Pussy Cat,

      I’ll have to keep this one brief as its a bit of a mad house here at the moment!

      The pictures will go up later, don’t worry. I just got ‘mauled then’ – by a human cat!!!

      For now,

      David!

      • reply John Baldry's Cat ,

        That photograph has obviously been retouched to hide the wrinkled skin and white hair of the supposed 71 year old Farrant! It’s a conspiracy, I tell you. Maybe MI5 had a hand in it!

        • reply David Farrant ,

          I agree, you stupid, brainless, moggie!

          If I was really 71, the photo might indeed need ‘re-touching’!

          Think of it though: what about a person who might be only half of that assumed age but who looks at least 10 years older?!?

          There lies the real question, surely?!? Think about it.

          I really am left with nothing to think about because the picture was not re-touched!

          In fact, its lucky in a way you are going on holiday to the Cattery soon, as I wouldn’t like to be in your paws when the person who took the photograph reads your latest ‘miaowings’!

          David

          • reply Wayne. ,

            Hi David,

            Happy Birthday and I hope, I look as good as you when I’m 71. I turned 41 back on January 7th. I was only thinking the other day, when the Highgate vampire case was going on, I was only 2 years old. Anyway, I’m hoping to come down to London soon and was going to visit you, if thats ok. And may be in the summer, you could come on up to the Midlands and spend a few days with Heidi & I? Its been to long since we saw you last. Anyway I’ll call you over this weekend. By the way, no train journey for you though, I’ll drive down and pick you up and take you back.

            Regards.

            Wayne.

            Wayne.

            • reply David Farrant ,

              Hi Wayne,

              Really good to see you here, and of course you’re welcome when you come to London again. Thanks in turn for your offer of another visit; believe the last one was in May 2002. Doesn’t time seem to fly. I must confess I enjoyed meeting all the other people and the haunted places you took me to (especially the pubs!). It would be nice to get away for a couple of days seriously; I’ve had a pretty hectic 12 months what with one thing and another. But I would get the train; just meet me at the station again, that’s all! Come to think of it, haven’t seen the new house yet, but I imagine you would have settled in by now!

              Yes, please do call over the weekend. Can’t wait to catch up on the work of the BCPS. I’ve got quite a few interesting things to tell you as well, but I won’t attempt it here.

              We are having a 4-day trip to Cornwall in September and you’d be welcome if you wanted to meet up there. I’ll explain more on the phone as ‘trade secrets’ need to be properly protected – sure you know what I mean! And why!

              Anyway, thanks for posting, and do stay now you’re here. Don’t take too much notice of a couple of the other people. They can be a bit crude by innuendo, but they mean well. Its usually only at my expense, so need to worry (Only I have to!).

              Speak to you over the weekend, and I will bring you fully up to date.

              For the moment though,

              David

              • reply Wayne. ,

                Hi David,

                I’m hoping to get down to London about April or May time! Heidi will be with me, but she probably won’t be able to come and see you, her Auntie does not live to far from you and she’s hoping to have some time with her. But I will have a friend with me, by the name of Nick Duffy, who as just this night joined your forum as Karswell. Nick runs a group not to far from me and is one of the few paranormal investigators around that I’ve met who knows about the Highgate vampire case and yourself. Most say David who and Highgate what? Which is good for me, because I have someone to bounce ideas off about what the Highgate vampire could have been! I do hope it is ok for Nick to accompany me? May be we can go and have a look at the Flask and The Gate?

                As for you coming up here to us, I was thinking about sometime in June or July is that ok? Which puts us hopefully in good old summer time, I hope its not like last year, David or you might be coming by Ferry instead of by Train. Anyway speak to you over the weekend.

                Regards.

                Wayne

                • reply David Farrant ,

                  Thanks Wayne.

                  Nick would be quite welcome to come over here, and I have just told him that when welcoming him to the Forum.

                  I’d obviously heard of the West Midlands Ghost Club but I just couldn’t put a name to the Internet nickname.

                  Yes, I look forward to seeing you both in April/May. If I do miss Heidi, can always catch up later.

                  In any event, will speak over the weekend.

                  Can’t wait for the warmer weather actually. Us ‘witches’ tend to get a bit ‘subdued’ in the cold.

                  Got a Court case looming around that time (no! not criminal, a civil one I launched myself some 4 years ago) so I’d have to work around that.

                  Tell Nick he’s quite welcome to post here also if he wants. He called me a ‘folk hero’ on the Forum, so how could I possible refuse him?!?

                  For the moment,

                  David

                  • reply Wayne. ,

                    Hi David,

                    You are a folk hero to paranormal investigators like Nick & I, who read about your exploits as children! Which is why, I’m friends with Nick, because anyone who claims to have been into the paranormal for years, like a lot do! Could not have helped but come across Yourself and the Highgate vampire case at some point in their research. But a lot either I or Nick speak to have not.

                    Regards.

                    Wayne.

                    • reply Craig ,

                      belated happy birthday david.
                      i hope it was a good one. what was going on on the other side of the camera?! i highlighted the picture and read the description so i’ve got to ask.
                      you look well bored on the fone. was it a yorkshire call?
                      are those covers of ur books framed in the background?i’m sure the top one is beyond the highgate vampire.

                      anyway i hope u had a good one mate.

                      cheers
                      Craig

                      p.s who’s patrick???

                      • reply David Farrant ,

                        For Craig,

                        The person I think you think it was was not her.

                        She doesn’t have my mobile number.

                        So keep guessing!

                        David

                        • reply David Farrant ,

                          For Craig,

                          PS ‘Patrick’ is the REAL christian name of a man who goes around clad in a ‘tea-pot cosy’.

                          I hope that answers that one – but DON’T puruse that one here!

                          I MEAN it!

                          David

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