You know birthdays mean little or nothing to me; in fact it would not be the first time I’ve forgotten my own (in later years anyway) only to be reminded of it by other people. Sometimes, it seems, my birthday has the effect of exciting some people, when I’d just prefer to treat it like any other day (well, it is as far as I’m concerned).
Okay. I can hear the inevitable question . . . “How old are you?”. Well, that will just have to stay a question because I’m not going to tell you the year!
But if anybody wants to believe the infinite drivel put out over the Internet not so long ago, then I will be 71 today! Well, that is what was being stated as hard fact, and even qualified by people saying that that made me too old ‘to go out with’! From people preferring much elder men, that was really a ‘bit rich’!
But even so, this is quite serious you know, because if it is remotely true, it means I have somehow lost over 10 years of my life. It has just gone; and I can’t remember it. It is a worrying thought because, if true (and I am not convinced but only worried why people might think that), it begs the serious question about what I may have done during those long years of amnesia?!? Seriously, I could have done anything! Might even have another wife lurking about somewhere who might someday turn up to claim me! Might have even fathered some more children, who might one day do the same! (Reminds me of someone this actually happened to not so very long ago, and his solution was to deny his sons’ existence!).
And what about all those lovely women I might have dated – even bedded – and now I do not even have the memories of! It gets worse the more you think about it.
So I don’t think I will anymore. I’ll just have to accept that the memories won’t come back, and a chunk of my life has somehow ‘gone missing’ – perhaps due to some nasty knock on the head.
It’s funny. I remember back from last year alright. I think it was 2007 – at least I hope! But who knows what can happen in this mixed up and embittered world. Well, anything is capable of happening, isn’t it!?
Anyway, I remember yesterday alright. As a matter of fact, I had to travel North a little by bus and while in the area, I decided to buy a sandwich in a café I used to frequent occasionally. Do you know, the woman – a Chinese lady – recognised me at once and was ‘all over me’. She asked me why she hadn’t seen me for the last 20 years or so, and if she could get me her ‘special of the day’ to eat. I said just the sandwich was fine as I didn’t really have enough time. We spoke for a while though as being mid-afternoon, the place was virtually empty, and when I was leaving she refused to take any money for the sandwich. Maybe this is something to do with Chinese hospitality that I don’t know about. Or it could have been that I hadn’t shaved and looked a bit hungry.
Hey! You know what?! I’ve just had another frightful thought!
Supposing I had been going in there regularly during my ‘lost years’ period and something else happened that I just can’t remember. (You shut up in advance, Cat, I don’t mean that1). I mean, I might have saved her life during some hold-up, or something. Crazy? I guess so. But it could have happened if I am really suffering from amnesia!
What else has happened. Nothing really. But I’ll be glad when today’s finally over.
For the moment though,
N.B Just to share the moment, I can do no better, perhaps, than to share my ’71st’ year with you all and to give you a little window into my world as of 6:30pm this evening, when a few photographs were taken of me…and not for a police mugshot for another false and rather disturbingly bogus claim/allegation/outright lie!
Enjoy the pictures and I’m pretty sure my most ardent fan and supporter will automatically steal them and plaster them over his sad and rather insecure set of msn groups along with another sensational headline.
…the copyright is mine Patrick…